Once again, blogging time has escaped me like sand through fingers, like water through a sieve, like...well, you know. It's been a while since I posted. There is the question of "Why write if no one (or few people) will read?" There is also: "Maybe I should just share something on FB instead of suffering through (or subjecting people to) several paragraphs to make sure they understand my thoughts/feelings/mood/ indignation/point (if there is one)..." Then there is the inevitable "WTF?"
But in reality, there is nothing more cleansing, more therapeutic, more cathartic (if I'm using the word correctly) than a good post. Yes, I am very busy. Our once small office has ballooned and I am now supervising (if that is what it is called) a bunch of people and interviewing/hiring a bunch more. Sigh. I am no longer involved with the little day-to-day things at work and that has brought about a certain freedom from drudgery but then I wake up in a cold sweat at night thinking that I forgot this or I didn't take care of that... My point is: The stress factor is always there. The only thing that changes is that the person that kicks your behind for goofing off is higher up. Otherwise, it's business as usual.
So, yeah, I'm pretty busy, but no busier than at my peak blogging period when I was not only a peon at my full-time position in an institution of higher learning but I was also working part-time at a department store of Thanksgiving parade fame. So back then my days were extremely long and I had a lot more loose ends to tie, more people to appease (which y'all know, is not easy), plus a second part-time job that was cutthroat. I would get home after 11 pm and think nothing of it. AND I had blogged.
I think, deep inside, some times I don't want to blog because:
1) I wouldn't know where to start.
2) I would have to write entire encyclopedias to bring everyone up to date.
3) Not to mention that writing always made things clearer to me so I would have to face a lot of painful realizations
4) The repetitiveness of my themes may be a bit boring to my readership (all three of you, if you are still there). Just like every time my sister and I have two or three Zinfandel Blancs we have the same conversation. It goes something like this (Disclaimer: it doesn't matter who says what, because we actually take turns, depending on who has had more Zinf Blancs):
Sister 1 - How the heck did we ever survive childhood?
Sister 2 - Well, you know it was really difficult moving every eight or nine months but we had each other...
Sister 1 - That's all well and good but it was really tough. As soon as we made friends or figured out what was cool, we moved to another state...
Sister 2 - Okay, you're right, but what could our parents do? They needed to work and to follow the contracts and so they had no alternative...
Sister 1 - True, but it turned us into monsters because we don't feel a part of any group, we are aliens even if we were to go back to Cuba, where we clearly do NOT belong... Couldn't they have just settled somewhere, would that have been so hard?
Sister 2 - Yes, it was difficult, but at least we had each other...
The arguments get a bit circular, but this is reassuring to us.
So, sparing you the other two hours of the conversation, this is what we talk about. Amazingly enough, we laugh about it the next day because there is no explanation for anything in this world. Not only this subject between my sister and me, but any other subject. You may think you have an explanation or that you have a "handle" (God, I love quotation marks) on things, but you need to keep in mind that you may not necessarily have a handle, though you think you do. Nobody does. Especially those who think they do.
So why blog? Why try to squeeze out something that (at least to the writer) makes sense, is attempting to be logical, trying to make a point (or to point out that there is no point?)? Especially when you can just blurt out some stupid reference on FB to the fact that you are having an 80 oz. frozen half-decaf/half caff coolatta (or whatever Starbux calls it) with half n half and two packets of Sweet n Cancerous. It's just as silly and it will make just as much difference.